Fake It So Real
by likeasouffle
Summary: Kurt and Blaine play with Harry Potter action figures and reveal more about their fantasies than ever before.


"So, which one are you supposed to be, in this scenario?" Kurt raised an eyebrow skeptically at the arrangement of action figures Blaine was still holding in position with his hands, to keep them from falling over.

Blaine blushed and grinned. "Uh. This one." He freed up one hand enough to point at the little plastic Harry Potter, who had fully articulated joints, and who had been placed on his knees on the carpet in front of the little plastic Ron Weasley. Blaine pushed Harry's head down closer to Ron's plastic crotch.

"And which one am I?"

Blaine laughed apprehensively. "This one." He pointed at Draco Malfoy, who was pressed up against Harry's back in a lewd doggie style pose.

"Why am I Draco? I'm not even blonde."

"You're not a redhead either, and the only brunette available was Hermione, which I didn't think you'd appreciate."

"True." Kurt reached over and adjusted Hermione, who was a ways away from the threesome, with her little plastic hands under her skirt. She had tilted over to the side slightly, like she was drunk. "So you're in between me and... someone else?" Kurt was blushing hotly, the corners of his mouth twitching up in not-quite-a-smile. "Who?"

"I don't know, it changes. It doesn't matter."

"Come on, tell me. Just as an example. The first one that comes to mind."

Blaine watched Kurt's face nervously. "Mike Chang?"

Kurt laughed. "Ok." He nodded. "I can see that."

Blaine made Draco hump up and down a little against Harry. "Which obviously makes Hermione -"

"Tina."

"Yeah."

Kurt laughed and shook his head. "I can't believe you. You have such a dirty mind."

"Ok, now you do one."

"Fine, but mine aren't nearly as dirty as yours. I feel like I should do more than one."

"I have no problem with that." Blaine grinned.

Kurt took the Harry Potter doll and placed him on his back, tilted his head forward, and bent his legs up as far as they would go, with his knees close to his chest. Then he sprawled Draco out on top of him with their pelvises together and their faces touching. He tried to move Harry's arms to make it look like he was holding his own legs up.

"Are you still Draco?" Blaine licked his lips as he watched.

"Of course. He's got my high cheekbones and pointy chin."

Blaine smirked. "So you want me all spread out for you. Exposed."

"Oh my god." Kurt separated the two action figures and started rearranging Harry on his front. "You're such a pervert." He placed Harry such that his shoulders and knees were down on the floor, with his ass up in the air, and managed to turn Harry's face to the side and his head back so it didn't look _entirely_ awkward for his little neck. He placed Draco behind Harry, between his legs.

"I assume you're on top again?"

Kurt's eyes darted up to Blaine's. "Is that ok?"

"Definitely." Blaine's eyes were looking at the dolls, but were glassy, unfocused, like what he was seeing in his head was much more interesting.

"Your turn," Kurt said.

Blaine took Draco and straightened out his arms and legs, and stood him upright, with his legs apart like a cowboy. "Can you hold him up?"

Kurt held Draco's head between his finger and thumb, effectively keeping him from falling.

Blaine placed Harry on his knees, but behind Draco this time, with his face to Draco's ass.

"Oh my god, seriously?" Kurt gasped. "You really want to do that?"

Blaine nodded. He was panting softly.

"That's... You _like_ that idea?"

"Don't you?"

"It's... I'm..." Whatever blush had left Kurt's cheeks suddenly came back in full force. "I think it's my turn now." He ducked his head, but Blaine could tell he was smiling.

Blaine picked up the Harry doll and handed it to Kurt with a smile.

"Um. I don't know if I can really get the idea across for this one with just the dolls," Kurt said.

"You should try."

"Ok..." Kurt straightened Harry out and laid him on his back. Then he folded Draco's legs and placed him on his knees, straddling Harry's chest. He bent Draco's arms and moved one small hand to his crotch, and the other to Harry's head.

"_Oh_."

"What?"

"Is that... you giving me a facial?"

Kurt covered his face with both hands. "Um."

"Kurt." Blaine pulled Kurt's sleeve, but he didn't budge. "It's ok. Believe me. It's more than ok."

Kurt peeked through his fingers.

"I can't believe you think about that stuff."

Kurt groaned and put his whole arm in front of his face, hiding his eyes behind the crook of his elbow.

"I mean in a good way! _Kurt_. This is fantastic. I mean it."

Kurt sighed. Then he slowly lowered his arm and straightened his shoulders. "You're not just saying that?"

"Of _course_ not. Kurt. Look at me."

Kurt raised his eyes to meet Blaine's.

"I can't wait to try all this stuff out with you one day. When we're ready. I'm so excited for you to come on my face."

Kurt's eyes widened, and his blush spread to the tips of his ears and down his neck. "_Blaine_!"

"I mean it. You can do _anything_ with me and I'll probably like it. Anything, Kurt."

Kurt's lips were parted and his Adam's Apple bobbed as he swallowed.

"Here, let me show you." Blaine picked up the Harry doll and pulled apart the velcro of his little shirt, and pulled it off. Then he used the shirt to restrain Harry's hands behind his back, with the velcro as a useful fastener. Then he paused, and considered what to do next, before removing Harry's pants and Hermione's skirt.

He pulled Hermione's skirt up Harry's plastic legs to his waist, then set him down in a kneel on the carpet. He tilted Harry's head back to look up, way up, and was just about to pick up Draco -

Suddenly Kurt pounced on Blaine and pushed him down to the floor, straddling him and kissing his face. As he started frantically thrusting his hips, rocking their bodies together with newfound urgency, his foot kicked out and knocked all the dolls over. Neither of them minded.


End file.
